lost in my wonderland...

I've been sitting here thinking again.

Wondering.

Dreaming.

All that jazz that I really enjoy.

I've been wondering what my own place would look like if I were to move out. Well, it's not really a matter of "if" but more like "when". I wonder what my little place in the world will look like. Will it be a house? An apartment? A renovated warehouse as I once dreamt of? Or an old, big red fire station complete with a long slidy pole to get from my room upstairs to the loungeroom below. Haha, I have no idea what it will be, but my ideals have definately changed over time.

I used to want a house with a flying fox weaving throughout it, with a soft landing pad in every room. This same house had to have a huge pool with pet dolphins in the backyard, and a massive bed in my room. That was when I was about 11.

A few years after that I imagined living in a big old warehouse that had been renovated into an open plan share house for me and all my mates. We even made a pact that this would happen one day. We'd all live together, happily ever after. That was in year 7 when I thought I knew everything and anything I thought was an absolute, dead-set plan. It was going to happen.

More recently (about a year or two ago) I thought I'd really like to live in one of those slim, tall terraces in the inner city. This was my dream house. Stylish, with old-world charm on the outside, but with an uber-trendy interior design. I had it all thought out. I knew all the pieces of furniture I'd need to make it look great, and where I'd place bunches of fresh flowers and other pieces of home decor.

My oh my, how times change.

Right now as I sit here and reflect on what I've wanted in the past and what I thought was the absolute dream home, I realise that that's not even important. Not at all.

Whether I end up living in a huge lavish house with all the trimmings, a tiny cottage with a rusty bath tub and leaking roof, a one bedroom apartment with barely enough room for myself, or a treehouse in the wilderness, the one thing I really really desire is to have a home.
Not a house. A home.

A place where I feel at peace. A safe place where I fear no harm. A quiet place to do my thinking, but also a place often filled with the joyous sound of laughter.
This home would often be shared with the company of loved ones, sharing a meal... sharing life. A place that welcomed 'strangers' in as if they'd known it for years. A place that was so filled with love that people would want to visit and enjoy every moment that they were there.

That's what I'd like. Nothing else matters quite as much as that.

And the thought that, that day I finally pack my bags and have a taste of freedom and true independence isn't too far away, brings the biggest grin to my face and the warmest feeling in my heart.