I sit in awe

Last night I found myself actually wanting to write. I was so excited about the days events that I just had to get it on paper. So, that's what I did...grabbed a few sheets of pink paper and sat in bed and wrote.

Here's what came out....

Follow-up to prayer
(May 10th, 2005 -early hours of the new day)

Not so long ago I prayed that I could be used to bless people.
I prayed that I may be used in a way that glorifies only God and not myself
I asked Jesus to use me in any way He could... but only if I had a humble heart.

I don't want to be a boastful, big-headed servant of Christ. I don't want to be proud of myself and the deeds I'm doing. [after all, it's not really me doing it at all]
What I truly want is for Christ to be given all the praise and the glory - for it is only He who deserves it, not I.

We don't thank a boat for getting us safely across the water, we thank the captain. In this same way, may Christ be given the thanks when He allows me to simply be one of His vessels.

So... the prayer was said. All I thought was left to do was to wait until Jesus answered my call.
Never did I think He'd respond so quickly!!

In the short time since I prayed this to my Lord, He has given me so many opportunities to be His hands...
Some tasks are smaller, more easily accomplished, others are much bigger and really scare the heck out of me.

Right now I sit here in my bed thinking "But Lord, how can I do this? I don't have the resources - it's too big for me....is there no-one else who can do it instead, Lord?"
But if I let my mind be still for a moment I can hear Jesus say to me "Belinda, it's not you who will do it anyway. It's me...you just have to let me. Just let me do what is needed, let me do it through you."

Who am I to deny Jesus of doing His work in His children?

While I'm feeling quite overwhelmed with what seems like a huge responsibility...a huge task I've taken on and committed to, the excitement and joy* I find in allowing myself to lie at the feet of Jesus is far more powerful than the fear of "but what if..."

I know that Jesus can do anything. Anything at all. I believe that absolutely!!
The question is, will I let Him do 'His thing' through me?

I can say now, with a peace in my heart and the enthusiasm of a child at craft time, "Yes Lord...I surely will!!"

All I need to do now is trust... that our Almighty God will do His work. Pray... that I will be close enough to Jesus to know when he is calling, and be faithful and obedient... not just hear what Jesus speaks to me, but actually obey what He asks of me - no matter what.


So, here we go big dude...
let's start changing the world - one brother at a time!

my God is so big, so strong and so mighty, there's nothing my God cannot do!! =D
~~~~~~
* joy...Jesus first Others second Yourself last