this content heart...

A lot has changed since my last entry. I'm so much more content right now. Been shown a few more things by God and just have a spirit of peace about a lot more than just a few days ago. There are still things on my mind that I would like to know the answers to, but for the most part I am very content with where I am right now. This doesn't mean I won't chase after my dreams any less, quite the contrary actually. Realising where I'm at right now has further fueled my desires and encouraged me to chase after God with an even hungrier heart and more open eyes! But my willingness to trust Him is still being challenged. It's getting better, but still being challenged, which is always good.

I'm becoming more and more convinced that this year will be my last year of study - atleast for now. I'm thinking I'll get a few years experience under my belt before I tackle further study. Little confusion as to what study I will actually persue in the future, but many paths to choose from which is exciting. And a little overwhelming at the same time.
Possibilities include the Diploma of Community Services (broad knowledge base), Dip. Youth Welfare (obviously -youth focused), or Teaching. Not entirely sure what I will do, but it'll be a few years down the track anyway, so it's all good.

I'm trying to keep a bigger picture perspective on things whilst staying focused on my current situation. Not an easy task to master. My future plans definately include family life, so I'm thinking a teaching career would be great - 3months of holidays with the kids every year, plus a few weeks. But then there's my now - wanting to work with teenagers and children and serve my church (which is currently all tying together quite nicely). Good times.
Still contemplating the possibility (and huge desire) of working within an orphanage. Seems I may have contacts with an Australian missionary couple currently working in Thailand - had a very brief (but incredibly inspiring) conversation with Vikki Rees about the Thai orphanages and their work. Not entirely convinced that's where I'm being led, but it was tremendously moving to see footage of the little Thai boys with their huge grins and most adorable eyes. And the little Thai girls are just gorgeous! *sigh* Yeah, kiddies are my soft spot!

I so easily get lost in my ponderings of "I wonder what 5 years from now will see me doing..."
Will I be working in a Youth Refuge? Will I be overseas as a missionary in an orphanage? Will I be a teacher? Will I be a wife or a mum? I don't know the answers yet, but I know that my God has amazing plans for me beyond what I could ever fathom on my own, and that is what keeps me going through the boring, humdrum day to day existance I sometimes fall into.

As for my current status - I'm loving where I'm at right now. Back into church life, and lovin it SO much!! Thursdays we have Senior Girls Bible Study, followed by worship and prayer time with just us leaders (so beautiful to spend time just singing to our wonderful God), Fridays are a goody bag of all sorts (Friday night games once a month, Bible Study another week, and full church services twice a month I think is the current plan), Sundays are our morning service and one (or two - can't remember) nights a month we have Youth church aswell. It's awesome!! Couldn't think of anything better to do than spend time with the kids, teaching them about God, learning more myself, and growing relationships with my mates and family!

On a more personal level, I still have the desire to share my life more intimately with another, but for now that's not happening, and for the first time in a while, I'm okay with that.
My mind and spirit need to be focused on the task at hand and a relationship would more than likely distract me from that and complicate matters further! So, I'll be learning the art of patience for a little while longer I believe.

As for moving out - I seriously hope it's this year!! I could do so much more if I had my own place. In some respects anyway. In other ways I'd be more restricted, but priority wise, I'd be better off out of home. So, that's another exciting possibility to think about/work towards.

Anyhoo, I'm all done. Got that all out =) and it has made me realise how very fortunate I am right now!

Hope your life is buzzin with the love of God,
Bella xx