Back home again. Party's over. Back to real life - went back to work today. Seemed worse than before. I mean, it was a good day, nothing bad happened, but I was just thinking alot. Quite a lot!
I'm kind of confused at the moment. Not so much confused I guess, but just not clear about a few things. Thinking about alot of different things - a number of possibilites and stuff. Like - is this my last year of TAFE or will I go on to do the Diploma next year? Will I move out this year like I was so sure I would late last year? Will I move away or stay in this town? Will I end up in Melbourne like I think I want to? And what are my intentions - why do I really want to move there and is it worth it? What exactly is happening and what should I be doing? Is 'this' all part of "The Plan" or is it the work of the enemy?

Gosh, sometimes I just want to turn my mind off - switch off from the everyday garbage that clogs it and just live each day for what it is. So cliche, I know...(live each day like it could be your last...) but is it possible?
I want to have direction and goals and stuff, but would it be sweeter to just take risks and live daringly, telling it like it is, not fearing the 'what if's" of life.
It seems like it would be more fun, more lively - more exciting and adventurous - the things I so crave, yet don't seem to reach for! Hmm...why is that?

Why haven't I skydived yet? Why haven't I jumped off the bridge? Why haven't I said anything? Why haven't I watched the other movies. Man, I'm sooo adventurous, I live in a frickin bubble!

And I'm so over it! From now on I'ma try harder to live a max life! To actually live life loud as I claim to on my myspace profile thingy!

And if you notice me retreating to the bubble wrap existance again, don't be afraid to pop it - let m know I'm boring and kick me up the butt every now and then.

Thanks buddy

Bella xx