It's over!!

oh yes indeed like-minded nutters. The aforementioned title is meant to be read as if it were Strong Bad himself saying it. haha

Anyhoo, TAFE has finished for this year.
I joyfully handed in my last assessment of the year tonight and drove home with a wonderful feeling contentment, satisfaction and anticipation.
I'm pleased to be finished for this year because I was so freakin over it by a few weeks ago! Now I can focus on scoring a job again (oh the joys of being an unemployed almost 21yr old who still lives at home!) and continue the work at church.
I love my new role at church. The kids are going great guns. They're so inspiring. Jesus is awesome. Man, I love that guy ;-)

I'm seriously hoping to move out early next year too. Yeah I know I've said that for years now, but I honestly believe it is closer to becoming a reality than ever before.
Granted, I'm unemployed at the minute and it certinly costs a heck of a lot more money to be on my own than it does to be living with the parentals, but it's just been really on my mind lately.

I seriously feel a calling to move out. And I'm sure of it. Not just "I think God's telling me to move out" to entertain my own desires, but everything that's happening lately would seriously benefit more if I moved out.
There's opportunities existing within church and Youth Group that can only happen if I had my own place. I've asked my parents if they would open their home to some of these opportunities until such time, but it's not a viable option in their eyes. So, if I'm going to grow more and be able to serve more effectively I want to do everything I can for that to happen.

It's been my dream for ages to have a place for kids to stay when they are most needy. My ultimte dream is to have a massive farm type setup, almost entirely self-sufficient where kids can learn life skills to get them through, get their lives back on track and be loved in a Christian environment. The smaller option which I'm hoping to do next year is have an open house/apartment (:-P) with a spare room or even just a mad comfy couch for the kids to stay. I'd love to have Bible Studies in my own home. I'd love even more to be able to invite people into my home to share a meal. It'd be awesome to just have people around whenever, for whatever and not worry about disturbing the 'rents or the bro's :P All these things I can't do in my current place of residence, so I'm getting out. :-P
If only it were that simle hey.

But something that God has really been reminding me of lately is the whole concept of FAITH.
Hebrews 11:1 reminds me that "Faith is being sure of what you hope for and certain of what you cannot see".
And I'll admit, it's big call when looking at that scripture to then say "I have faith that..." but I can now say with an assuredness only God Himself can give me that "I have faith that next year will see me in my own little place, doing all of the aforementioned and even more".

Jesus is awesome!!

I hope God's blessin your socks off too, dear reader =D

Love Bella xx

where is the love...?

And as the song goes..."Father, Father, Father help us, need some guidance from above 'cause people got me, got me questioning - 'where is the love'."

People fail us all the time huh. And it sucks.
This I know, but I'm constantly having to be reminded.
And the fact that God is the only One who will never hurt me.

Well, I guess I'm a slow learner, or I'm just not listening properly. I'm hearing it, but not feeling it. Guess I'm not believing it or something. I dunno.
I just get so frustrated with people sometimes and I know I shouldn't worry as much. I should be handing it over to God. Spending more time with Him, working on our relationship, but I'm not. Don't know why.

I guess I just want to feel valued by the people in my life and not just God. Even though that's probably stupid because it really doesn't have to matter what people think of me, because what really counts is what my Father thinks of me. Yet still, I seek approval and validation in those around me.

Arhh. Stupid girl =P

Reading "Captivating" at the moment is really helping though. I don't feel as alone in this struggle. It seems almost normal, but still kinda stupid.

I'm probably not making sense tonight. I'm a little muddled, bit of a scatter brain at the minute. And kind of over this self-analysis that's been in progress for a while.

I'm off to eat ice cream and watch chick flicks.

Yes, for that is where real love is found - in the movies =P

baptism and breakthroughs

November 5th 2005 will forever be remembered as the beginning of something incredible.

As I wrote in my last entry, it was on this day that I was baptised. That in itself was huge for me. A step I once never thought I would take, but one which humbles me no end today. It is through the grace of God alone that I share with you now, for He is my champion warrior in the battle that is life. My rescuer, my hero.

In the afternoon of my baptism as I was reflecting with one of my sisters that was also baptised that day, I felt inspired to write a song. That for me is so out of character, so beyond me. I mean, I've always always loved music and I'm known by my family to sing almost non-stop, but write...?!! Never had I imagined I would.
But I'm the first to admit it's no Grammy-worthy piece by any means and I believe it was only meant to see the light of one day, which is fine with me ;-)
But what God was whispering to me within the song will most definately resonate in my heart for a long long time. For every day of the rest of my life and more than likely in my eternal life aswell.

Jesus helped me finally understand the true meaning of being freed by His blood. Cleansed completely by His holiness. Healed forever. It's something that I've heard for a while now and at times thought I understood, but in that moment it all felt real. I actually know it now, with my heart,no longer my head.
And that itself was incredible enough but I serve a mighty mighty King who wasn't about to stop there!!

As I shared another wonderfully deep, soul-sharing conversation with another of my sisters I felt so in touch with Jesus and so ready to do His will within my life. We spoke of our dreams, our most precious, closely guarded desires and hopes and it felt so lovely to be able to do that and know that it is all possible . And not just that, but it is also so minute compared to what God can do through us. Yes, my dreams are big. But my God is so much bigger than anything I will ever comprehend and He can do so much more than I could ever fathom on my own.

***************

I could reflect on that with you for hours and perhaps some day I may, but I really want to share some incredibly exciting news with you! There's a change happening here in my neighbourhood, my battle field. And it's all about the kids.

Now, it's well known by most that my passion, my calling is to make a difference in the lives of our youth and children. And all the praise, honour and glory be to God - He has prepared me thus far and continues to teach me to do that.

My Thursday afternoons before heading to TAFE are now spent in the presence of around 20 lost and searching kids between the ages of about 12-17. They join myself and about 10 other leaders that make up the Youth Team of Wingham.
We (just the leaders) originally started meeting on a Thursday to discuss ideas of running a Youth Group for unchurched kids of our town. All was going well, we were having our weekly meetings and making progress and as we went along, there was a huge buzz within everyone that told us we were coming up to a time of change, incredible change. A revolution within our own lost and dying land.
God was preparing His soldiers for something huge, something we have not known before but something that was to change the course of many lives.

The first breakthrough came when kids at the local High School were asking one of our leaders (Grant - the Christian Studies teacher/outreach youth minister) where he was going after school on a Thursday. As Grant shared with them his plans for the afternoon which also included a Bibe Study within the same meeting the kids asked if they were allowed to join us aswell.
How awesome is that!! Unchurched kids, knowing we were going to study the Bible asked if they could meet us at the Ministry Centre and join in on the discussions. Talk about breakthrough!

To see these kids so eager to know more about God and so willing to sacrafice their time to do so truly inspires me to examine my own walk with Christ and pursue a closer relationship with Him so that I can also know more, understand more and be a better leader to them.
Not only are they coming to the meetings but they've started coming to church!! Gosh, as I'm writing this it's actually sinking in... these kids are doing it all on their own. They want to be there, they want to hear about Jesus and know Him more! It's a huge thing for me to comprehend. I know that miracles can happen, but I didn't think I would see so many in my life time =D

The thing that gives me the most joy though and makes me believe in the future of these kids is the conversations I got to have with them after the service on Sunday night.
As I was sharing in small talk with a group of kids last night one of them opened up, seemingly out of nowhere and said "you know what's kind of sad though Belinda....this is the most fun I've had and I didn't even have to drink."
He went on to share that he often thought that he could only have a good time by getting drunk or stoned but he's realising how fun church can be. He shared that he wants to change and my gosh, I was so thrilled to hear that first hand. To see Jesus working His miracles in the life of another, right infront of my eyes is truly beautiful.
This young man said that he has always been a failure at school, the teachers constantly told him he was stupid, he wouldn't amount to anything, his results were always poor, he had never read a book.
"But you know what..." he said, "I've read this much of the Bible you guys gave us the other week" as he indicated with his thumb and forefinger.

It's awe-inspiring to see the changes occuring in these young lives and to know that this is only just the start.

I can't wait to serve along side these awesome warriors in the making and impact our neighbours, our town, our world =D

I pray that you too are inspired by the testimonies of Jesus reaching these kids and know that we serve a living, breathing God who can do anything!

In love,
Bella xx