goodnight moon...

It's times like these I can't help but smile at the sky.

I LOVE full moons. SO much! There's just something about them that makes me happy.

I think it may have something to do with the amount of light they give out.
Now, I'm the first to admit that I'm afraid of the dark, (hehe...just ask anyone who's tried talking to me on the phone while I'm home alone!!) so I think that deep down I feel safer at night when there's a full moon because of the light factor.

In saying that, I actually enjoyed the drive home from my brothers flat, tonight. Usually I spend the entire drive home pancking that my car will stall somewhere along that dark, winding country road between his place and mine and terrible, unimaginable things will happen to me. Like, wild dogs will eat me alive, or an axe-murderer/forest dwelling freako will decide to play chasey's with me.
But tonight I just enjoyed the drive. I didn't fear anything. I was safe under those moon beams, I swear I was =p hehe. The valley was so lit up that it felt more like late afternoon or early hours of a new day rather than 11:00pm. Actually, the early hours one makes more sense cause if it was late afternoon the sun still would have been out. But you get the jist....much light.

Anyway at one point along the road I actually turned my lights down because they were just spoiling the mood. Serious, it was so beautiful but my driving lights were just so harsh against the gentle beams of moonlight they just did nothing for it at all, so they had to go. If only for 20 seconds while I had my moment.

And now that I'm home and in my comfy snuggly pj's I want to go back outside and soak up all the good, happy vibes of Mr. Moon.
But I'm hella tired so I'll just go to sleep. =p

And though I may not spend the night admiring the moon, I will be sleeping under the stars...

(the glow-in-the-dark twinkles on my roof that is!)

So it is now that I bid you goodnight, dear reader - may you be blessed to see many more moons and even more smiles.

Goodnight moon, see you next time.

Love Bella xx

burnt legs and bunny hopping...

So annoyed!

I now have another frikkin scare on my leg because of a stupid hot water bottle.
Call me a slow learner but it's taken me two cases of being severely burnt with a water bottle to figure that they aren't meant to have boiling water in them unless you wrap it in something a hellova lot thicker than a pillow case!
(and it kinda helps if you're NOT a deep sleeper and don't notice you're flesh slowly cooking!)
I'm now willing to invest in another electric blanket to prevent any more hideous scaring on my already traumatised legs =p

~~~~~~~~~~

In other completely unrelated news, I had a bit of an 'experience' of sorts in my mum's car today.
Primarily because it's a manual and I'm the owner of an automtic vehicle named Bessie.

Back when I was 16 or so I had a few lessons in a manual. Dad wasn't too keen on my driving skills back then and the conversations during our lessons usually consisted of this...
Dad: "watch the road when you're driving"
Me: "how am I supposed to change gear if I can't see them?!"
***
Dad: "stop at the next power pole, as if you were going to park there."
Me: "how do I stop?"
Dad: "how the frig did you get your L's?!"
***
Dad: "that's what you call bunny hopping."
Me: "is that because the car's cold?"
Dad: "no. It's because you don't know how to drive."

So anyway, back to today. I found myself sitting in Mum's 4wd in the drive way, keys in the ignition, wondering whether I should try it or not. For starters, the only reason why I found myself in this situation was because the parents are away for the weekend. (there's NO WAY they'd let me in a manual on my own!)
I had a feeling that maybe I shouldn't. Maybe it was best if I just left the car where it was. But I needed (or wanted, rather) to move it out of the drive way and onto the grass so the child I was babysitting had more room to ride his scooter.
So, I sat there. Turned the key and felt the car rumble under me and kind of jolt forward. First point of freak out. My thoughts: "cars aren't meant to go forward unless they're.........OH!!! It's in gear!!" second thought "how stupid of mum to leave it in gear...it could jolt forward at any moment, especially if the parkbrake isn't on"
(for those wondering, no I do not have blonde hair, but simply I am unfamilir with the mechanics of a manual car) =p

And that was to be the first of many mishaps.

Long story short...I ended up in the middle of the road, not knowing how I managed to get that far out of the drive way without being able to reverse it myself, since it kept stalling, and not knowing how I was going to get it onto the grass area.
At one point an older gentlemen walked past for his morning stroll and I kindly asked for his assistance. His response - "sorry love, I haven't driven since 1979". At which point I figured he'd still have a better chance of getting the car safely to it's destintion than I did.

But alas, I was on my own. I had to get it somewhere other than where it was. So I turned the key again, left foot on clutch, hand on parkbrake, and right foot on accelorator, put it into first and ..... jolted forward. This happened another 15 times atleast, and sadly that's no exaggeration. By this time though I had actually moved far enough back into the drive way and back into the original position of the car that I was safe from passing motorists.

Out I got and locked the doors, never to return into that beast of a machine again.

(atleast not until I had my dad beside me...) =p

I called mum and told her what had happened and asked if she had had her car serviced lately because it needed some work done. To which mum assured me the car was fine, it just needs to be warmed up for atleast 10-15min before you attempt anything, and asked me if I remembered anything about my past lessons...in particular that all important "half way point when you slowly bring the clutch up and the car then moves forward". Funny how I don't remember that until AFTER I've bunny hopped my way back into the drive way for half an hour.

Atleast it was a good way to start the day. I've never laughed at myself so much.
Bunny hopping is actually fun! =p

1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10

That's what I was asked to do tonight on my way home from TAFE.

Count to ten while a Police Officer held a little black box infront of my face.

How boring. What's the world coming to when I don't even have the novelty of blowing into the box through my own hygienic straw that the Officer kindly unwraps infront of me.
Where's the fun in counting?
Unless Sesame Street is involved - that's another story altogether. Man, I wish I had younger siblings so I had an excuse to watch all the cool shows =p

Anyway... as expected I gave a negative reading and was wished a happy evening and safe travels as I went on my way.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

More than that happened today though.
I had Bible Study this morning. I was a little hesitant to go because I wanted to sleep in and I was a little apprehensive about going back to study group with the girls, given the recent events of my walk. Thankfully though, I had to take another girl with me this morning , so I knew she was relying on me to get there, and I didn't want to ring her at the last minute and let her down.
So glad I went though. We had the greatest study. So mind expanding. It was incredible. I love how God works. When I desire to learn more about Him, He provides so much knowledge. And good stuff too. Life changing stuff. Well, potentially life changing. If I really reflect on the lesson in the study and apply it to my life, it has the power to redirect where my path is leading.
And it's super exciting. I'm lovin' it.

Crazy thing is, the study we did today was so close to what I've experienced in the last few weeks, days even, that it really spoke to me. And when it came to sharing our thoughts/ideas about what each passage of scripture meant, I couldn't wipe the image of my mates from my mind. It was similar for some of the other girls too, which was great.

Apart from awesome Bible Studies I'll be doing the "Purpose Driven Life" campaign with my church for the next 6 or so weeks. Man, this book is huge. I've owned the book for over a year now, but I hadn't really taken much notice of it. Hadn't read it at all. I often wondered if I ever would, or whether I should give it to a used book store or something.
God's timing hey.... =p

So yeah, as a church we'll be studying, growing, learning, loving, serving our way into a changed way of living. I can feel that it has the potential to be so huge for every one of us, individually and as a family.
I can't wait to discover more about myself, my creator, my brothers and my sisters.
And I can't help but hope that there will be more people within church who appreciate a hug as much as little Bella =)

So I just read over my last post and felt confronted by what I had shared.
Although it was therapeudic for me to get it off my chest at that time, as I read it again tonight I wanted to delete it. It's not easy for me to admit my weaknesses and my vulnerability and I want to pretend I never felt so distant from God.
But I know that that's what my reality is. I do have trials. I do struggle in my walk. I stumble, I fall flat on my face. And sometimes I feel so ashamed that I lay in the dirt for longer than I should. I make my situation worse, instead of just getting back up and pressing on. I get so caught up in the scum that it seems like I'll never get rid of it all. Never be able to get back to where I used to be. I sometimes (well, too often) think, this time I've really done it. There's no getting back up now.

But when I lift my head out of the dirt and look up, He's always there.

When I feel so worthless, so disgusting, so distant from God, He is there all along. Not just waiting patiently for me to come back, but wanting to wipe away all the dirt, soothe all the hurt, and comfort me just like an earthy father would for his child. But my Jesus is so much more than that. He does all that and more. So much more.

Once again, I don't have the words...I don't understand or even comprehend why or how. But He just does.

And though I can not understand His grace, I sure do appreciate it.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Not only do I appreciate my Jesus, but I am SO thankful for His work in others, and His deliverance of others to encourage and strengthen me in my walk. I know that I am too weak to grow on my own just yet, so thankyou so so much for continuing to hold my hand and guide me in His way. I love you and value you so much and I know that Jesus is so proud of His children, His brothers and sisters, for helping one of His stray kids come back home again.

And though I can't promise I won't get lost in the big wide world out there again, there's no place else I'd rather be than safe in the arms of Love.